Confidence & Warmth
A Parenting Insight Worth Sharing
While writing a school paper recently on parental warmth—something close to the heart of many of us who practice RIE- or Pikler-inspired caregiving—I came across a study that really struck me.
Published in July 2020, the research followed nearly 200 Italian mothers and their children from early adolescence (ages 9–13) through the middle teen years (12–15).1 The researchers—Bernadette Paula Luengo Kanacri and colleagues—wanted to understand how a mother’s belief in her parenting abilities (known as self-efficacy) connects with her emotional warmth, and how both of those elements relate to her child’s prosocial behavior—things like empathy, helping, and kindness.
And here’s what I found so compelling:
🌱 It’s Not Just One-Way—Warmth and Confidence Feed Each Other
The study found that maternal warmth was the bridge between parental self-efficacy and a child’s prosocial behavior. Mothers who believed in themselves tended to express more warmth, and that warmth, in turn, helped foster more compassionate and helpful behaviors in their children.
But it didn’t stop there. This relationship was bi-directional—the more warmth a mother expressed, the more confident she felt in her role. This dynamic highlights the mutually reinforcing nature of emotional expression and self-perception in parenting. In other words, when we feel capable, we connect more warmly—and when we connect more warmly, we often feel more capable.
As someone who has been exploring the power of warmth in caregiving, I found this deeply affirming.
🌿 Why This Matters for Respectful Parenting
If you’re rooted in RIE or Pikler approaches, you likely already believe that how we are being with our children matters just as much—if not more—than what we are doing. This study speaks directly to that. It’s not about pushing for outcomes. It’s about building relationships rooted in trust, presence, and connection.
It also reminds us that our own inner world as parents and caregivers plays a huge role. When we can tap into a sense of grounded confidence, warmth becomes more accessible. And that warmth helps our children not just feel safe and seen, but also grow into people who treat others with empathy and care.
🌱 A Few Gentle Takeaways
Trust in yourself is powerful. It supports warmth, and warmth supports your child’s growth.
Warmth matters. It’s not extra—it’s essential to emotional development and prosocial behavior.
The connection is cyclical. Warmth and confidence feed each other over time.
Your presence is the curriculum. Parenting isn’t a performance—it’s a relationship.
Parenting with warmth and confidence isn’t always easy—but this study reminded me how much it matters. It affirmed that being emotionally available and believing in ourselves isn’t just helpful—it’s transformative. For our children, and for us.
So if today is messy, tiring, or uncertain, take heart: the warmth you offer is doing deep, meaningful work. And every time you show up with presence and care, you’re strengthening your own confidence, too.
You’re already enough. And every moment of connection counts.
Luengo Kanacri, B. P., Pastorelli, C., Thartori, E., Lunetti, C., Di Giunta, L., Bacchini, D., &
Lansford, J. E. (2020). Longitudinal relations among maternal self-efficacy, maternal
warmth, and early adolescents' prosocial behavior. Parenting, 21(1), 24-46. https://www-tandfonline-com.proxy.brynmawr.edu/doi/full/10.1080/15295192.2020.1777791
 | A guest post by
|